This is for all admirers of the notorious Weldin sisters. It's a compilation of stuff that's good for you and educational (carrots) and everything we just need to get out there (throw-up). Enjoy. Note: this is not in reference to Fat Bastard's farts.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

For A Happy Marriage 10/12/10

By: Nick Farmer

1. Clean stuff. It's not too hard and it makes everything nicer. And you can have sex on clean things.
2. Screw nature. Stay hot.
- Workout in the morning, maybe tantric yoga.
3. Remember dates of important spouse related events.
4. Listen, just listen. You don't have to solve your spouse's problems.
5. Be of good cheer, you're married to someone you be lovin'.
6. As one doctor friend of mine once said, everybody needs hugs and kisses. They make a bad day good or a good day great.
7. Dudes, cook some food for your wife, watch a good movie with her and enjoy cuddling. Maybe drink a diet pepsi too.
8. Cuddle, it's super great, and lots of people seem intent on denouncing it as gay or unmanly. But seriously just hold each other.
9. massages, foreplay or not, they're really great.
10. Enjoy sex. Don't let it become stale, try new things. Talk about it. If you can't then you shouldn't be married in the first place.
11. Be spontaneous, but don't overspend. Debt can be a bigger downer than boredom.
12. But at the same time, have fun going places: movies, dinner, walks in the evening, sex in public, getting some soda.
13. When you're having an argument, don't use funny words or voices. It undermines your position. Even when you are absolutely sick of your spouse leaving the cabinets open or peeing in the shower and you're ready to blow up nuclear style, remember you love them and married for a reason. Don't say things in anger to hurt them, that's terrible. Say things only to communicate effectively the problems that you face. Don't go to bed mad because you'll never know if the issue was resolved or will be there plus resent in the morning. And people have bad breath then.

-- There you have it. The wise words of Nick Farmer. Great guy.

1 comment:

  1. Nick "The Jackhammer" FarmerMarch 25, 2011 at 4:17 PM

    This is me. Thanks, Ali.